Do not mock or make fun of others [49:11]

Many of us love a good laugh. I know I do. In this age of division and polarization, the problem is that there is a lot of content out there which attempts to make us laugh is at the cost of other people. While sometimes mocking and laughing at others is considered to be "just harmless fun" the verse below reminds us that Allah considers this a very serious matter.

In Sura Al-Hujarat, which is full of advice on social relationships, Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَومٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاء مِّن نِّسَاء عَسَى أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ

"O you who believe! Let not one people deride another; it may be that they are better than they. Nor let women deride other women; it may be that they are better than they." [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:11]

This verse advises the believers from engaging in expressing contempt for, ridiculing, teasing or laughing at others in a scornful manner. It is interesting that although "people" includes women, here Allah swt has chosen to address the women separately. Scholars explain that it is to make doubly sure that believers do not engage in this destructive and hurtful behaviour and also because both genders may laugh at each for different reasons.

Scholars also explain that this verse includes all kinds of communication meant to belittle or laugh at someone, whether it is through words, subtle body language or even imitation. If the intention is to ridicule or make others laugh at the person, the offending behaviour would be captured in the scope of this verse.

 The verse before this one obligated the believers to make peace between themselves and this verse points to some ways that peace and harmony between people is eroded, and relationships soured.

Let us delve a bit deeper into the issue of mocking and making fun of others, those whom we are connected to and those whom we don’t know well or at all.

Contempt: The Ultimate Relationship Poison

One of the most destructive things we can do for our relationships is when we make fun of or mock people who we are connected to. Psychologists identify mockery, ridicule, and looking down on others as forms of contempt—one of the most destructive forces in relationships.

Dr. John Gottman, one of the world’s leading relationship researchers, found that contempt is the #1 predictor of divorce and relationship breakdown. He describes contempt as: "When we treat others with disrespect, mock them with sarcasm, roll our eyes, and sneer at them, we make them feel despised and worthless. Contempt is a poison that destroys love and trust in relationships."

Contempt includes behaviors like

• Sarcasm and mocking
• Eye-rolling and dismissive gestures
• Speaking in a condescending tone
• Insulting someone’s intelligence or worth
• Belittling someone’s opinions or feelings

In his research, Dr. Gottman found that when contempt enters a relationship—whether in marriage, friendships, or workplaces—it creates a downward spiral of negativity. People who experience contempt in their relationships feel devalued, disconnected, and emotionally drained. Women who live in relationships where there is contempt have depressed immune systems and are more likely to get sick.

This aligns perfectly with Islamic teachings, where mockery and belittling others are seen as serious moral violations that erode the fabric of relationships and society.

Mockery as a Form of Oppression

Islamic scholars have compared mocking others to putting a knife through their soul and murdering their morale and confidence. Just as stabbing the body would be deemed extremely serious, we must be equally mindful of such assaults on another’s soul.

A hadith from Imam Sajjād (as) puts it very strongly indeed: From among the sins that bring down the wrath of Allah are oppression done by one who is aware, trampling on the rights of others, and mocking and ridiculing others.

Why Do People Mock Others?

Understanding why people engage in mockery and contempt can help us be more mindful of our own actions. Some common reasons include

• To Feel Superior– People mock others to boost their own self-esteem or assert dominance.
• To Fit In– Many join in laughter at someone’s expense to feel accepted in a group.
• To Mask Insecurity– Sometimes, those who ridicule others are projecting their own self-doubts onto someone else.
• Because It’s Normalized– Society often normalizes sarcasm, teasing, and "roasting" as entertainment, desensitizing us to its harmful impact.

How Can We Avoid Contempt and Mockery?

1. Be Mindful of Speech & Actions– If we catch ourselves laughing at someone’s expense, imitating them, or making sarcastic remarks, we should pause and reflect:

o   Would I want someone to say this about me?

o   How would this person feel if they heard me?

2. Think Before Forwarding or Sharing Content– Social media often encourages mockery in the form of memes, videos, or jokes about others. Before sharing, ask: Is this uplifting or demeaning?
3.  Redirect Conversations Away from Ridicule– If in a group where someone is being mocked, shift the conversation towards something positive.
4. Teach Children & Youth About Respect– Mockery often begins in childhood. Helping children understand the impact of their words can create a culture of kindness.
5. Apologize If We Have Mocked Someone– If we have hurt someone in the past, making amends and seeking forgiveness can repair the damage.

Mockery and contempt may seem trivial in the moment, but their impact on the recipient can last a lifetime. This verse also importantly reminds us that those who we are making fun of may be better than us. Unlike human, He does not judge based on looks, mannerisms, taste or education but simply on God consciousness. When we end up making fun of those who are higher status than us in His estimation, the joke would be on us!

Let us commit to speaking with dignity, respect, and kindness—so that our words uplift rather than wound.
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Wishing you a day full of spiritual fulfillment, positivity, purpose and peace.