Draw bright lines by staying far [17:32]

Yesterday we talked about how Allah [swt] compensates for human weakness by legislating with clarity and compassion. 
Today we will reflect on one example of how he does this: 

وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاء سَبِيلاً 

[17:32] And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way.

While this verse talks explicitly about Zina  [Zina encompasses sexual acts outside of a valid marriage contract and covers both adultery and premarital sex], the principle stated in this verse can be broadly applied. 

The verse does not say: “Do not commit zina.” It says: “Do not go near it.”

The Quran is highlighting that poor judgement or sin is not the first step: it is concerned with pathways that lead to the final act. Because most moral collapses do not begin with a dramatic decision. They begin with proximity in an environment that makes it easy to make seemingly small compromises. 

A look.
A message.
A private conversation.
Emotional intimacy.
Secrecy.
Rationalization.

And then the human being finds themselves in questionable territory, unable to stop themselves.  The Quran blocks that first step. It is telling human beings: do not take the first step, do not put yourselves in situations where it becomes easy to slip, do not rely on willpower alone [remember yesterday’s reflection?]

The psychology of triggers: the habit loop

Behavioural explains that we rarely act in isolation. We act in context.

Every habit follows a loop:

Cue → Craving → Behaviour → Reward.

There are certain anchors or cues that get our habits in motion:

•         The couch becomes associated with scrolling.
•         Late night becomes associated with snacking.
•         Loneliness becomes associated with texting someone you shouldn’t.
•         Stress becomes associated with escape.

The brain links places, emotions, people, and times with behaviours.

So when Allah [swt] says “Do not go near,” He is effectively removing the cue. He is interrupting the habit loop at the earliest stage.

Not after desire is inflamed.
Not when dopamine has narrowed your thinking.
But before the storm gathers.

Let us further understand this by referencing the concept of Bright Lines

In law, a “bright line” is a clear, non-negotiable boundary of what is or is not allowed by parties to a contract. Research in habit formation discovered something surprising: bright lines that we impose on ourselves make keeping commitments and getting rid of bad habits much easier.

Putting this in context of our discussion on nafs al-ammārah, we know it pulls with intensity. It promises relief, pleasure, escape — and in the moment, its voice can feel louder than our reason. When that drive is activated, the brain’s reward system lights up. Dopamine narrows our thinking. Long-term consequences fade into the background. In that state, relying on willpower alone is fragile. So the Quran, in its mercy, does not ask us to fight every battle at the cliff’s edge. It teaches us to step back before the storm gathers. 

Bright lines are how we protect ourselves when the inner animal is restless. They reduce exposure to triggers, lower decision fatigue, and support the ‘aql when the nafs is loud. 

Let me explain using the month of Ramadan as an example:

Imagine Allah [swt] had told us: eat lightly, responsibly or moderately during this month. That is a fuzzy boundary. Can you see how we would be negotiating with ourselves every moment of every day?  Psychologists call this “negotiating from the edge of the cliff”.

Instead, the rule is very clear: Don’t eat or drink - not even water ;). From fajr to maghrib. That is a bright line. A clear boundary. 

[On the podcast we also discuss the concept of bright lines using the example of alcohol consumption]

And what happens?
Decision fatigue disappears. You do not debate with yourself every hour. Psychologists explain that bright lines reduce cognitive load and free up mental energy. And over time, they reshape desire itself.

Research in habit formation confirms that:

A 100% commitment is often easier than a 90% one. Because 90% leaves room for negotiation.
And negotiation happens when you are tired, lonely, stressed, not in the mood. We have all experienced negotiating with ourselves when we say “we will eat less of this” or we will “exercise more”. 

The Quran removes the negotiation phase entirely. It doesn’t say: “Manage it carefully.” It says:
Don’t go near it. Create a bright line for yourself.  [Does this help explain the rules/guardrails around gender relationships?]

The verse ends with: “…and it is an evil path.” A path implies steps.

No one wakes up intending to destroy their marriage.
No one plans to betray their integrity.
No one consciously chooses to shatter their family.

But zina does not exist in isolation. It is not a personal issue. It has impacts beyond those who chose to engage thus. Classical scholars highlighted the ripple effects:

•         Breakdown of family structure
•         Confusion of lineage
•         Emotional harm to children
•         Erosion of trust
•         Social instability

Whether in 7th century Arabia or 21st century society, the psychological reality remains:
when commitment dissolves, security dissolves and confusion and anxiety rises.

By creating bright lines around sexual ethics, Islam is not merely protecting modesty.
It is protecting attachment, stability, and generational wellbeing and preserving the conditions for love to flourish within a covenant, not chaos.

So what is your personal “Do not go near”?

Zina is one powerful example but the principle is universal.

We need to figure out our own proximity problems so that we can draw bright lines. We need to identify our own high-risk contexts: 

Where do I usually slip?
With whom?
At what time?
In what emotional state?

And then create bright lines around my behaviour.

Here are some examples: 

•       If we struggle with gossip, the bright line maybe not sitting in certain circles
•       If we struggle with pornography, the bright line maybe no devices in the bedroom.
•       If we struggle with anger, the bright line maybe physically leaving the room when our voice rises.
•       If we struggle with emotional eating, the bright line maybe not bringing certain foods home.

Examples of bright lines: 

•         No phone after 10 PM
•         No private DMs
•         No being alone in that setting
•         No entering that website
•         No sugar at home

It may be wise to remember that we do not need heroic willpower if we design wise environments. This is how we manage the nafs al-ammārah. Not by wrestling it at full strength but by reducing its leverage. By building fences and scaffolding. Creating bright lines that make it easy for us to do the right thing.